every cloud has a silver lining

LIFE ... CRUEL...

29th sep..9:30 pm...
y cant life b simple nd straight nd smooth nd clam....???
nd y cant it b d way we want it...y it gives us soo much pain nd soo much tears...y cant we b happy nd smilin all tym..???problems nd tensions is dis wat life is all abt...????

one of my closest frend jss lost his father...nd dis news came like a shock to mee..he was all fyn,he was wrkin nd he was vry happy... itz alwas easy to say dat evrything wil b fine...bt jss imagine wat abt dat family who's goin thru all dis...woh shayd fir kabhi ek sath baith ke dinner nai kar paye ge, shayd fir kabhi ek sath kisi baat pe arguments nai honge uss family mein,kabhi ek sath hass, roo nai paye ge ,kuch bhi pehle jaisa nai rahe ga uss family mein....
y GOD is soo bad to people who r soo gud...???y he alwas hurt dem who hav not done nything rong...???i nevr trusted him coz he was nevr gud to mee,nevr listen'd mee nd now i hate him,from core of my heart ...

still the one

i made a lot of mistakes ....
one was falling for u, loving u,and hoping that ul b der by my side whenever i need u...

"wen i first saw u, i saw love....
and d first time u touch'd me, i felt love...
and after all this time ,u still the one i love... ...you still d one i want for life..."

Shaina twain...

wall

some times u gotta put up walls,
not to keep people out.
but to see who cares enuf ,
to break them down..!!

i jus wana spend my life wid u..

Like a dream you can't explain,love can chase a beating of your heart
like the sunshining in the rain,love can make your whole world fall apart

all i wanted now
I just wanna spend my life with you
time will show me how
suddenly everything has turned me inside out
suddenly love is the thing that I can't live without

you are my dream my love my life
I just wanna spend my life with you
you are the one that makes me smile
I just wanna spend my life with you

God I love somehow...
I just wanna spend my life with you...

What have you done to me?
is this how its meant to be..??
can't control this feeling in my heart,
I can see better days glowing inside your eyes,
and I know you feel it in your heart..

Love is a crazy thing
its like when you wanna sing,
and the words are deep inside your soul
when somebody comes along,together you sing a song,
you just let the music take control..

and i wanted now.
i just wanna spend my life with you.......

3rd of SEPTEMBER...d day...!!

ahhh....!!
it was d day... d day of ma life 3rd of sep..my first day of LUCKNOW UNIVERSITY..alwas heard bout it nd soo was now d tym to hav a luk...to tel u d truth i was a bit nervous as i've heard a lot abt it, ofcourse d bad things..lol.. nd more dan mee ma sweetheart dad was nervous,as his lill angel was goin to dis place wich accordin to him was all shitty nd was a hell, nd wich was not at all meant for mee..
i was consoling him to not to worry as i can take care of myself nd dat now im a big gurl...nd it was only mee who knew wat was goin on back in ma mind nd how bad my heart was bittin.. bt den i cant du nythin now...nd dad's r alwas worried about der daughters soo i totally nderstood wat he was goin thru...i was all set to leave ..

reached LU nd i was soo soo soo not happy wid dis, wanted to go back...bt den i saw my dad watchin mee, wid hopes in his eyes dat m a strong gurl nd yes i can take care of myself..soo i went in..people lukin at mee, ohh sorry ..!!d students lukin at mee as if m an alien or sumthing...cumon man giv me a break m not sum miss world soo stop lukin mee like dat ;) lol...my eyes wer searchin sumone whom i knew ,wid whom i can feel a lill better, ya u can say more cumfortable...nd den sarah nd sweta came like a saviour thank u GoD...!! ;)

itz was 11 o' d first class nd my god dat was d one..seth sir...he myt b in his 50's or 60's or may b i dun knw...bt he is full of energy Gosh..!!one must see him.. he was on top of his voice shoutin (wich is his normal way of talkin)nd tellin evryone wat all he has done thru out his life nd carrier nd students wer soo not interested in his talks...nd seriously i havent seen nyone like him,sum how it all end'd nd we wer like thank u god ...lol ..nxt class was at 12 o' nd it was awesum...he came in wid a smile on his face, a face wich no one can evr forget...sumthin was der in his eyes sumthin very positive sumthin very different...nawaz sir..d tym i saw him ,he made mee remember of my english teacher(amit ghosh)...all kool nd happenin nd soo warm nd frendly..thank god atleast he gave a thout of intoducing himself nd ask'd us to introduce ourself...nd as i said his class was all fun ..students wer at der best, dey made mee feel soo very cumfortable out der..exceptions are alwas der nd no one is perfect soo as im nd i was all fyn wid evryone i met...i think if u good to sumone evryone wil b kind to u..soo m on d same track tryin to b all kind nd humble nd frendly to evryone nd tryin to adjust maself in here..

itz almost 3 weeks now nd im still adjustin maself,stil learnin wat LU is all about,wat students r all about...nd im lovin it.. ;)

misssin u huma...

itz 12:51 am...itz rainin outside nd itz pretty cold in here..nd luk at mee m sitting here nd rytin all dis...
itz been 5 damn long years i've known dis girl (huma) my sweetheart...thou she's elder to mee bt i treat her like my lill sis...lol..she's been wid mee thru out my ups nd downs alwas by my side tellin mee not to worry as she's gonna be wid mee thru out...thou she alwas knew she wont be able to pull mee out of my troubles...but as it is said a frend in need is a frend in deed..soo she was alwas der...lol...
we've seen d best days of our life wen we i.e mee, huma nd shalu (d best'st frends) wer tugether...
huma treated mee like a baby...as she was elder to mee,she alwas made it clear dat she protect mee from all dose stupid guys who use to follow us nd du all dat stupid funny things, nd she made it vry clear dat she stand by my side wen evr im into sum fight wid sumone..
d first tym wen i met huma,d first thing wich came to ma mind was my she'z soo much like mee a total spoil brat..but den slowly i get to knw her wel...she was all warm nd kind...like a baby nd sumtyms like a mother...we've seen soo many things tugether...shared soo many tears nd laughed like crazy...runnin aftr each oder...celebrating evry single day as if ders no tomorrow...watchin all d dirty movies nd drinkin vodka tugether..evry single birthday was a blast..late nyt talks,nd early mornin studin for papers was alwas fun...nd in all dis mess shalu was like our grand maa scoldin both of us for all dis stupid creepy things..d best thing in huma was dat she alwas had sum issue wid very damn thing nd she alwas had a solution to it..she actually nevr need'd nyone to tel her dat dis is rong or dat is ryt..a total biindas grl..
it was d last paper of our graduation wen we i.e mee nd shalu came to know dat our sweetheart was gettin married nd i was like no dis is not happenin,she's stil a kid,she cant get married to nyone like dis she dun evn hav brains...she dun know wat marrige is all about..hw can nybody du dis to us...??? i was not at all ready to believe dat she was about to leave all of us like dis..it was hurtin..bt den evrything was decided..nd i was no one to say nything as my sweetheart was all set to get married...hell .... :(
it was 27th of may d big day of her life, as wel as of shalu nd mee...d day wen she left all of us cryin..i hate her for dis, bt den love her for evry lill thing she has done for mee in soo many years...she has given mee d most memorable nd d most beautiful days of my life...
tuday she's not der wid mee,to listen to my crap,to slove my not soo call'd problems, to sit by my side nd to say cry as much as u can,as itz d best way to clean ur eyes...she's not der to comment on my way of dresssin nd to say dat no matter wat you luk hot in evrything :( i wish she was here.... itz almost 4 months now nd she's in zaadhe wid her b'luved hubby all happy in her life

wish u all d happines of dis world...
missin u jaan :)

du u remember....

Years have passed in thousands and millions,
Everytime i live, everytime i fall, everytime i rise and i search you everytime.

Do you remember,no you dont,
how i crumpled on my knees to get you back that day,
i was left alone,
From that time on days are dark, nights are awaken....
time is timeless,everything has gone.

Times were used to be when happy i used to say,
THESE eyes taught me to love, THOSE to cry.

Misfortune was riding high,many times before i died,
unfortunate i am,
See i feel somebody is killing me again.

I will keep on waiting for you untill we meet in this overshadowed world and,
then we'll leave together,
My thirst is everlasting, you my companion will can only halcyon this and salvation
then we'll achieve together......


"ritten by a frend of mine.."
(kaash)

khuda bhi uska ...

manzilen bhi uski thi, rasta bhi uska tha,
ek main akeli thi, kafiila bhi uska tha..

sath sath chalne ki soch bhi uski thi,
fir rasta badalne ka faisla bhi uska tha..

aaj kyu akela reh gaya dil sawal karta hai,
log toh uske the, kya khuda bhi uska tha...????

i wish

i wish i cud hold d stars, i wish i cud touch d sky,i wish i cud turn sand into gold, i wish i cud cry.. i wish i cud tell u how much i luv u, i wish i cud b der by ur side wen evr u need mee, i wish i cud b wid u forevr.. i wish i cud know wat love is all abt, i wish i cud take all ur pain nd say dun wrry m alwas dere wid u, i wish i was ur best frend...i wish....
i wish i cud know y du people lie,cheat,nd hurt der love'd one's, i wish i cud know y people r soo selfish , soo mean nd soo bad to each other, i wish i cud know y people tend to be soo kind nd soo humble nd soo sweet..i wish...
i wish i cud know wat it feels like wen one die's, i wish i cud know to wat do's it mean wen sumone say tugethr forever, i wish i cud turn back d tym, i wish i hav all d happiness of dis world, i wish i cud smile, i wish i cud fly, i wish i cud die...i wish...
i wish i had sumone to listen to mee,i wish i had sumone to say no matter wat u'l alwas have mee...
I WISH...

Boundaries

the boundaries which divide life from
death are at best shadowy and vague.

who shall say where one
ends and the other begins ..

behind d branches of a dead tree

pyaar...

Pyaar ne pucha zindagi kya hai?
humne kaha tere bin kuch nahi.
usne fir pucha dard kya hai?
humne kaha jab tu sang nahi.

pyaar ne pucha mohabbat kaha hai?
humne kaha mere dil me kahi.
usne fir pucha khuda kaha hai?
humne ne kaha tujhme kahi.

pyaar ne pucha humse ishq kyu hai?
humne kaha usko bhi pata nahi
usne fir pucha itni bechaini kyu hai?
humne kaha isme kasoor mera nahi.

pyaar ne pucha aetbaar karoge mera?
humne kaha tumse badkar koi nahi.
usne fir pucha saath doge mera?
humne kaha kyu nahi kyu nahi!

lonely...!!

Lonely am I

Lonely are the nights
Lonely are the days
Lonely am I, in so many ways

Lonely are the seasons
Lonely are the years
So lonely am I, that it brings tears.

Lonely is this place
Lonely is my life
Lonely am I, that I reach for a knife

Lonely is this court room
Lonely is my sentence
So lonely am I that I ask for repentance.

a talk

there's talk on d street,it sounds soo familiar
grt xpectations..every body is watchin u
people you need ,they all seem to knw u.
Johnny come lately,d new kid in town..
evry body loves u,soo dun let dem down.
you luk in his eyes,d music begins to play..
hopless romantics, here we go again.
but aftr a while ,you r lukin the odr way..
It'z dose restless hearts dat nevrmind
there's talk on d street ,it'z der to Remind u ,dat it dosnt really matter,wich side you'r on..
you walkin away and dey'r talkin behind you....